Too Dang Cold

 It is almost noon and the temperature stands at 34 degrees.  I can see the clouds rolling in and the winds starting to pick up.  The low tonight is predicted to be 14.

Yesterday the winds remained ferocious throughout most of the day and evening with a wind chill of 18 during my work shift.  I was bundled up in a long sleeve T-shirt, sweatshirt, polar fleece vest, raincoat, hooded sweatshirt, hat and gloves.  Still froze every time I went outside.  I had to salt the decks because they were freezing where people had dripped their wet bodies.  The people soaking outside looked blissfully warm and contented.

Four more days to work and then it is my turn.

Happy New Year everyone.

This is NOT one of our pools:)

Winter Has Arrived and Work Has Begun

I am sitting in Minnie rocking and swaying as we are being buffeted with 20-30 MPH winds with gusts up to 50 MPH.  The dark clouds are turning to a rain/sleet/snow mix and I am glad I do not have to be out on the road today.  From the comfort of my home I am watching guests pack up their cars to  leave and I wonder how many of today's guest check-ins will not be able to make it.  Should make for an interesting work day.

In exchange for taking time off at Christmas I now must work six days in a row, a total of 45 hours this week.  That is overtime even for someone accustomed to a 40 hour work week.  My mantra will be "I can do this!" and "If David, my co-worker, could do this, so can I!".  Last night was my first night and already I am feeling less than hospitable in this hospitality business.  I hope not to be a total shrew by the end of it.

I like working by myself but sometimes I just want to take it easy, cruise for a few of those work hours.  With no one else to fill in that slack, it is not always an option.  Thus, sometimes my give-ratio gives out.

I am expected to check in the lodging guests, deal with any problems they may have (me, lighting pilot lights!), give tours of the public and private pools, keep track of the coming and going from three private pools, get people into the public pools and make sure they leave when their time is up, take reservations for rooms and pools, deal with a multitude of people walking in off the street wanting rooms (which we rarely have), rent towels which then need to be washed, all the while being the most gracious of hosts.  At the end of the night I empty all the pools, set them to refill again, close out the books for the night and make sure I close up with everything neat and tidy.  It is just a lot of work.

Oh well, wonder what the day will bring.

Feet

Something is up with feet.  I have begun discarding old shoes and buying shoes that are more in alignment with being barefooted.  I now have yoga sandals, moccasins and a pair of vibram five fingers on their way to me.  I wonder how many of us are not connected to the Earth's energy grid lines because of the shoes we wear.  This is something currently swirling around in my thoughts.

While in Phoenix for a few days I had a pedicure, the second of my lifetime.  I am happy with the result and loved spending time with my sister and mother, but doubt I will make the effort to do this on a regular basis.

Before pedicure

After pedicure

New shoes on the way

Solstice Birthday

Today is my birthday.  I am 59 years old.

I was born during the darkest, most mystical time of the year and each year around this time I celebrate the year that has been, and the year about to unfold.  On this particular birthday I am reflecting on the decade that has been my 50s, an accumulation of time that has forever changed me through an unrelenting series of initiations.

During these years I have walked through hoops of fears, been on my knees begging to be released from this earthly plain and rattled to the core of my being.  I have passed through veils into alternate realities, reclaimed ancient pieces of myself and remembered what has long been forgotten.  In the etheric world I have been skinned, salt then poured onto those wounds, and in the physical world I have spent a year recovering from a trimalleolar fracture.

I have drummed, danced and cleared during my years of ritual.  I have reconnected with land, water and mountains.  I have heard the Lady of the Waterfall sing to me and spent months traveling through energy portals streaming through a particular Tree.  I have seen auras, shapeshifting, orbs and ships from other worlds.  I have seen, experienced, felt and embodied energy that is beyond description in the human language. It has been a journey that has made me stronger than I ever thought possible and allowed me to surrender to a world where I am no longer in charge or in control.  I have given myself over to the flows and tides of my life.

I don't know what this next decade will bring.  I have already been stripped bare and become so familiar with the swirls of change that it is my constant companion.   This companion no longer frightens me and has become the comfort that now surrounds me.  It allows me to live within the mystery and magic of my human existence.

I don't know what the next decade will bring, but I plan to embrace it with open arms.

Cable TV

I can't believe this, but after being on the road for over a year, someone has finally found my outside cable TV hook-up.  It's not that several people haven't looked, a few men insisted they could find it, it's just that it had an amazing hiding place that kept it out of view.  It has finally been found inside the electric cord compartment, tucked up high, but reachable.

What this means is that come college football bowl season, which starts on Saturday, I will have the capability to watch the games!!!!!!!!!  Not just a random few that I could get on my 10" tv if I had the antennae just right, one foot out the door, one finger up my nose, but I will be able to view ALL the games!  I am ecstatic and thinking this is one of the best early birthday gifts ever.  It even makes up for the early wake up call this morning as my new hero was routing around outside trying to get me hooked up.  YEA HURRAY!

Now, if I only didn't have to work so many of those nights when the games are playing.

In with the New, out with the Old

Minnie is sportin' a red bow.  I probably would not have even gone that far if the other workampers hadn't started decorating the laundry room, their outside areas and any available tree or bush.  I love being able to find my way home from the lights circling the other RVs, but for me buying lights would just mean one more thing to find a place for.

X-mas Tree with blue balls

 I bought some new shoes and new clothes and as a consequence spent two days rearranging the inside of Minnie.  I went through my very small clothes closet and discarded enough clothing to give it a bit more breathing room.  Next I tackled one of the compartments over my bed that made me cringe every time I opened it, which was nightly.  I also went through the storage bins over the cab and found a few more items for donation.  A thorough cleaning, dusting and vacuuming made my home feel even more serene.  I also seem to be gathering as fast as I am clearing.

Exhibit A    Postcards I framed

Exhibit B   New poster featuring art work of an amazing woman I met

Exhibit C   Mayan ashtray that I just had to have

Add to that a few gifts I have recently been given and well, there is just no room for much else.  I also tend to become very uncomfortable with too much clutter in my life so my small living space demands cleaning and rearranging for most everything that enters my life. 

All this cleaning is also in preparation for my upcoming departure.  I will be heading to Phoenix for Christmas, then back to T or C, and then the great beyond after January 15th.

I am anxious for my freedom.

Gypsy Blood

Inside a gypsy caravan

When I was a teenager I wanted to get my ears pierced.  My father's answer to that request was "only gypsies and prostitutes have pierced ears and I know of no gypsy blood in our family".  I think he was wrong.

I have always been fascinated by gypsies and when my father told me that current day gypsies traveled around in limousines, this time I could prove that he was wrong. 

I was traveling through Europe for my 21st birthday and while in Greece I found some gypsies on the street.  These young girls were dressed in beautiful, vibrantly colored dresses.  They wore scarves in their hair and earrings in their ears.  They were tan and their feet were bare and their smiles spoke of a happiness that only freedom can bring.  Even though I was solo traveling through Europe, I still wanted to be those young women.  I wanted to listen to wild gypsy guitars, violins and accordions.  I wanted to join their caravan.  I took their picture and had physical proof to show my father that the gypsies I had imagined did in fact still exist.

I have lost that photo amongst all my moves, a photo that was taken almost 38 years ago, but the image still remains.  I now travel in Minnie Minerva, my gypsy caravan, wear scarves in my hair and earrings in my ears.  I weep at the sweetness of  Jesse Cook when he plays his guitar and still dislike shoes on my feet.

And I still think my father was wrong about having gypsy blood in the family.

Cloaked in Aquarius

Art work by Susan Seddon Boulet

A vibrational sound healer walked into the office yesterday.  She came to put some flyers on the bulletin board and stayed to chat for awhile.  She was my gift of the day.

My birthday is fast approaching and for the past several years I have gotten a tarot birthday spread from a wonderful "seeing" woman in Eugene.  I was wondering where I might find someone to do a reading for me this year and what type of reading that might be...tarot, astrology, psychic, etc.  My answer came through the door and spoke directly to me.

As usual, I am not sure what starts the conversation, what leads to specific doors being opened, how we end up in particular corridors, but this healer and I started talking and soon we were conversing in the symbolic language of Spirit.  We talked of the different ways we do readings for people.  I spoke of my divining cloth, she knows of Malidoma, and feels an affinity with the Kontomble.   We talked of the Celtic lands I love and know so well.  She asks if I have been to Tintagel, to Iona, upon the Glastonbury Tor.  Yes, yes, yes, I have!  She knows of Morgen Le Fey and I spread the message of the Nine Morgens.

And then we shared our astrological charts, our various houses, signs and planets.  I watch as her eyes make that subtle shift that I recognize.  It is the shift that lets me know she has changed channels and is now listening to a higher source, channeling messages to me.  She sees me surrounded with Aquarian energy.  I try to remember my natal astrology chart in more details, but no, that would not explain it, and my recollection of my upcoming solar return does not explain it either.  I try to rationally think this through, to make sense of it, but she sees what she sees and can only reconfirm that she can see nothing but Aquarius all around me.

I finally sink into it and allow the message to be revealed.  I understand where this Aquarian energy is coming from and I understand the timeliness of this message.  I see the "sight" of this message and can only compare it to one of Susan Seddon Boulet's paintings, seeing myself cloaked and surrounded.

The magic continues to walk through my door.

2 Down.....

.....1 1/2 to go.

I have made the decision to finish up my 3 1/2 month commitment and then move on down the road.  My wanderlust is getting the better of me and I really just need some time off from working.  Also, these beautiful, clear sunny days are meant for traveling and seeing the sights, not confined to an inside office.

I am still learning what suits my life style the best, and right now, working 30 hours a week is not what I want to continue doing.  Love the place and meeting the people, but I need to rethink this whole "work" thing.

ABC news did a report on workampers the other night.  Made me think of Grapes of Wrath which has put a different spin on things.

I don't want to travel to where the jobs are, I want to find some interesting work in a place I have never been before.  But, then again, maybe I just want to travel and never "work" again.

Thanksgiving

Writing on the Wall

Once upon a time Riverbend was a youth hostel.  There are footprints and fingerprints left behind that attest to the many people that have passed this way.  

I am parked next to what used to be the girl's dormitory and if I sit with my back towards the road, this is what I see out my side window.  Because of the trees I couldn't quite capture the writing on the wall, but this is what is written:

Some people come into our lives and quickly go....others stay for awhile.
Those who move our souls to dance leave footprints in our hearts and we are never, ever, the same.

Because the weather turned so cold for Thanksgiving, we set up the tables and food in this building.  I couldn't even count how many people showed up...20, 30?  The tables were laden with three turkeys, two hams, three pumpkin pies, two apple pies, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes and scalloped potatoes, just to name some of the food we piled onto our plates.  There were people from Colorado, Texas, New Jersey and even Scotland.  Such a bounty of beautiful people.

And so I found it quite fitting that we would all end up in this building with those particular words written on the wall, people coming into our lives and quickly going.   And that the workampers would linger even longer, hesitant to leave and take the few feet back into our own singular homes, staying awhile.

And I thought of all the many people that have moved my soul to dance and am thankful for those encounters. I trust that you know who you are because our meeting means I will never, ever be the same.

Elephant Butte State Park

I needed to get away.  I needed some solitude away from the busy, dusty street I have been living on.  I needed to swim in a big ocean of peace.  I found that place at Elephant Butte State Park, a mere five miles away.

 No one around and a sky that held its beauty all through the night.

Just me and a bunny

Three Days Off, Three Days On

I so enjoyed my last three days off it has been a challenge to work my current three days on.  But then I realize if I had not worked three days on, I would not have met the people I so enjoyed during those last three days off.

Theresa stayed another night in T or C and almost ended up staying even longer.  She was offered a job as a yoga instructor and if the house sitting job had become available she would have permanently parked here for awhile.  I would have loved that.

I had been gifted with a free night's stay at Pelican Spa (http://www.pelican-spa.com/index.html) which I in turn gifted to her.  She ended up with a fabulous, funky retro room so we started the evening at her new abode drinking wine "big enough to chew" (one of her many expressions, wish I could remember more) and then went to dinner at Bella Luca. (http://www.cafebellaluca.com/)  We talked and laughed, shared our numerous similarities and our hopes of one day owning a motorcycle.  Oh yea, it could happen:).  She headed out to Taos the next day with an invitation to visit Crested Butte, CO in the summer.  Hmmmm...sounds like a plan.

Living room

Bedroom   All this for $55!

 

Earlier in the day I had been invited for lunch at  the Birch Street Retreat. http://www.birchstreetretreat.com/
Roger is the local masseuse we recommend and his home also has two rooms which they rent out to various visitors in town.  I have had previous conversations with Roger and happily accepted the invitation to visit his home and have lunch.

It was wonderful getting to know Roger and his wife Anne and interesting to note that they went to the University of Colorado the same time I was there.  Lots of Colorado energy around me these days.  Towards the end of the lunch Roger and I further explored our cranial sacral training and I agreed to come to his home the next day and gift him a session.  So that's where I was the next day, and it was a wonderful session.

Friday night I went to a women's shamanic drumming circle.  I enjoyed it, but also realized "been there, done that" so doubt I will make a return visit.  The best thing about the journey was that I came back long before the drum's "call back", eager to return to Earth.  Now, that, was a first!

I am thankful for this world where the magic is now so touchable I want to stay here and play, no longer needing to travel so far off planet for relief.  I am thankful for this beautiful web that is weaving so many different, yet similar, people into my life.  I am thankful that I am alive in these times so that I can experience this shift in energy that puts such a smile on my face

I am thankful for the three days on which connected me with the people I would so enjoy on my three days off.

Gypsy Soul Sister

 I made a rookie error and did not drink enough water last night.  The price I paid for that oversight is now everything aches.  The reason I forgot to hydrate myself was because a new gypsy soul sister pulled into town.

A few nights ago I took a phone reservation from a woman named Theresa.  Her mailing address is Philadelphia and she currently lives in Colorado.  Since I have lived in both places I chatted a bit further with her and there seemed to have been an immediate bond that was forming.  I told her I would not be working the night she checked in but she assured me she would find me anyway.  Maybe we would meet, maybe we wouldn't.

Because of a flood and a roof collapsing in the room she was to check into, Theresa was bumped to another, much larger room.  And because the manager was busy trying to install a new water heater in that same room, I volunteered to work an extra hour on my day off to help train the new night person.  Coincidentally, Theresa checked in during that one extra hour.

We hugged as if we were my long lost sisters, which in some sense we were.  This is the second time this has happened since I began working in T or C, the other time being Jennifer, and I wonder how many more beautiful young women the Universe will be sending through the office doors.  I hope there will be many.

Theresa and I met up later in the hot springs and thankfully had them all to ourselves as we talked non stop for well over an hour.  We laughed, told stories and shared magic.  After a particularly potent Owl story, we paused just long enough in our conversation to hear a nearby owl hooting in the trees, acknowledging the telling of the tale.  We talked about the stars and when I asked Theresa where she had camped the night before, she replied Benson, Arizona, my Benson, Arizona!   There was a weaving of the web that had brought the two of us together.

Magic was afoot last night in those swirling waters and that is why I forgot to drink more fluids.  I hope it happens again.

Sacred Land

I love this Land called New Mexico.  I want to immerse myself in her rivers, soar in her skies and burrow myself deep within her body.  She and I have a mutual attraction that grows stronger every day.

And it is more than just this town of Truth or Consequences, although this vortex has a firm grip on me.  I want to explore all of New Mexico, to know all the secrets that she holds, her mysteries and her beauty.  I have not felt such a Land connection since Glastonbury and wonder how deep these ley lines will take me.  Serpent is strong within me and I have a new understanding of this particular medicine.

I have never felt more aligned with Nature as I watch the sunset and star alignments.  Turtle Mountain is my constant companion and hot springs flow just beneath my feet.  This Land is sacred and my time here is also sacred.

I love this Land called New Mexico.

Am I Coming.....or Going?

I did not plan this shot, it was an "accident", but I love this picture.  It represents so much about my life, on so many levels, and the last few days in particular.

I am assuming most people have patterns to their daily lives, a specific routine that gets them through the week days and weekends.  I know I do.  On work days I do as little as possible before the actual time I need to walk across the street and into the office.  I need my personal batteries fully charged to enable me to be totally available to the needs and wants of the various people passing through on my shift.  I sleep late, have coffee while relaxing into the flow of the Rio Grande, read, nap and basically stay as peaceful as possible. That is my pattern and it works for me.

I worked Monday and Tuesday and traded my Wednesday for my co-worker's Friday because she needed that day off.   This allowed for only two days off instead of the three, but also meant I only worked two days in a row.  Fine, no problem.  Because I had two days off, I scheduled an appointment on Thursday to have Minnie's brakes checked.  They have been squealing and I am trying to take care of as much maintenance and grooming as possible while living in such an accessible town.

I had scheduled the appointment for 8:00 AM so was up at 6:30 AM to allow me time for coffee and the pack-up necessary when I take Minnie on the road.  Drove Minnie to the tire store, dealt with the good ole' boys who almost made me want to take my business elsewhere, and then walked the 1.4 miles back home.  Had coffee on the Rio, went for breakfast and a few hours later walked back up the hill to retrieve Minnie.  Very happy new brakes are not needed and I now have valve extenders on all the tube stems which have continued to plague me and make it a challenge to check the tire pressure.  Whew!  Just glad that is all taken care of.

Since I was already mobile, I went to Walmart to stock up on supplies, went to the Dollar General for more reading glasses and checked out the electronics store to see if they had a battery for my particular cell phone.  Just lots of busy work that I would typically do before stationing back into my spot.  I eased back into my spot at around noon and then proceeded with the usual set up - reconnecting sewage and water hoses and putting back out anything I had stashed away for the trip.  No big deal, doesn't take much energy or time, but I have been up since very early in the morning and I am ready to just chill out and read or maybe take a nap.

It was while I was in this chill-out phase, reading but on the verge of a nap, that I received a call from my same co-worker as she is driving back from the doctor's office.  She is ill and wondering if I can work her shift for her.  It is 2:45 PM and the shift begins at 3:00 PM.  As much as I want to work for her, I am tired.  I have spent the day as if I would not be working; walking, shopping and expending rather conserving energy.  I tell her I will meet her at the office and I am sure something can be worked out.  The manager is already in the office and it is agreed that he will work the next two hours while I go home, take a nap and get geared up for another work night.  I take my power nap and work until 10:30 PM but am glad when the night is done and I can return to the womb that is known as Minnie Minerva.

Tonight I work the Friday night I exchanged for my Wednesday and I am resting as much as possible.  The days are a blur right now....is it Wednesday, Friday, Thursday?????  What day is tomorrow????

I don't know if I am coming.....or going.

Mother Nature

This is where I sit and have my morning coffee.  I listen to the waterfall of the hot springs, enjoy the view of  Turtle Back Mountain and tune in to the flow of the Rio Grande.  I was glad I had my camera this morning because Coyote came to drink.

And most evenings I am treated to a spectacular sunset, serenaded by the hundreds of Grackles that gather in the reeds.

These are the blessings of my days.

Balance

I am finding it a challenge to resurface from Dreamtime.  I want to stay curled up within the inner regions of myself, exploring the different aspects and dimensions.   I want to "dig down even further below the surface layers of my psyche, in search of the gold at the rainbow’s end".  It is almost 2:00 PM and I have no desire to even stick a toe outside and enter that external world.  I want to float out to the boundaries of my consciousness and then stretch even further, sail away into the Cosmos.

But work starts at 3:00 PM.  I must reel myself back in, find my way back into my Earth body and close down certain portals.  It is my own particular dance, one that I have gotten much better at over the years.  I no longer resist the re-entry.  My new life has made it easier for me to want to return.

But it remains a balancing act.  Maybe it always will be.

Boondocking

I have come to realize I am not set up for boondocking.  I am envious of all the equipment Jennifer has that allows her to be fully self contained.  She has electricity, leveling blocks, a cell phone booster, wifi and coffee brewing in the morning.  I have lights and propane. 

My electrical outlets do not work even with the generator running.  I have no wifi and I am tilting rather than level. And because I left my cell phone on all night and have no way of recharging it, I also have no phone.  I am low on water in my holding tank because I have never filled that particular tank and somehow when I tried to fill it, only a small amount of water went in before it started to gush back out.

I feel inept and long for the security of a full hook-up RV park, preferably one with a really good shower.  But I also realize what you get when you can go anywhere.  You get to drive the Dempster, to drive all the way to the freaking Arctic Circle!  You can park as far away from civilization as you want, see stars that city lights muffle, hear coyotes and a quiet that is rarely heard.  You can lay on top of your roof and get lost in the Milky Way.

Thank you Jennifer, for sharing the way you travel the world.

Three Rivers Petroglyphs

After Jennifer and I visited White Sands we decided we wanted to visit the petroglyphs which we believed were only 22 miles further down the road.  As with most sacred sites I have visited, there is a pilgrimage you must first undertake before arriving; a pilgrimage of it always being further than you anticipate, a certain exhaustion that begins to strip away the familiar and surrounds you with a feeling of  being "lost within the mists".  It is my belief that sacred sites remain sacred because they are not on the tourist route and not as easily found.  That was the case with the Petroglyph Site.

Although Jennifer and I left at different times, we both got lost at the same cross roads along the way, felt like we were going the wrong way, felt we would never arrive and that it was certainly more than 22 miles, which it probably was.  This time I left first and arrived first and was able to guide Jennifer in when she felt lost.   We were able to park and stay at the entrance to the site and after circling round and round, I finally found a space that felt comfortable and paid my $2.00 fee for the night.

This is what the park looked like while climbing up to the petroglphs.  We are in the middle of nowhere.

 We had just enough daylight left to climb up to the stones and I was in such a hurry I took off wearing sandals instead of socks and tennis shoes which left me feeling very vulnerable when a man also walking the ruins warned us of rattlesnakes.  I was in some otherworldly trance and just kept climbing upwards until some rattling noise at one particular place got my attention and made me hope I was far enough to the other side of the path to avoid whatever was making that noise.

The energy built the further I went up and the petroglphs starting to become more and more concentrated until I reached a peak where I became nauseous from the energy overload.  I have walked many, many stone circles in some very ancient lands, but these rocks were kicking my butt!  On the way back down I was still disoriented and lost the path, making my own way back down the hill.  Those stones were glorious.

Jennifer walking the petroglyph path

 

As the sun began to set, Jennifer and I sat outside listening to coyotes and sharing our stories.  Before too long the sky was filled with stars, the Milky Way was visible and I remembered it was Samhain, the time when the veils are very thin.


 

White Sands National Monument

(Yes, I actually took this picture)

The great thing about traveling with a fellow solo traveler is that you each journey in your own way, and then meet up at a specified destination.  There is none of that following behind one another, or being the leader, or going too fast or going too slow.  You just travel the way you normally do.  I figured this out after my second stop on the way to White Sands National Monument when I realized there was no other way to get there than the method that suited me best, which was making several stops.

I was traveling with Jennifer and even though I left before her, I ended up at White Sands after her, but only by about 5 minutes.  White Sands is just that, white sands.  But it is also eerie, powerful, wonderful and just plain strange.  This is undulating sand.  The history of this gypsum is that it originally was deposited at the bottom of a shallow sea, turned into stone, rose into a giant dome when the Rocky Mountains formed, and then collapsed and created a basin.  Of course it took millions of years to do this, but the sand is still moving, only now it moves with the wind's direction.  It was extremely hot walking across those sands and yet a mere inch below the surface it is quite cool.

Taking a break at the Burrow

Surrounding the White Sands on all sides is a missile range.  So on our way out of this strange land a shattering BOOM shook the earth, the animals, the trees and Jennifer and I.  Not once, but twice.  Cannot even imagine what the vibration of that sound does to the land.

Jennifer connecting with the Sand

Jennifer the photographer

Walking the endless Sands

Video of my RV

When Jennifer was here last time she took a video of Minnie.  If you haven't already seen it, enjoy:)!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niZ3FvYKwww&feature=player_embedded

New Purchases

Other than buying what feels like a whole new wardrobe, I like to think of it as "work attire", I have also made a few other purchases to make my life even more enjoyable.

I love the hot springs water, but the drinking water this side of the road smells and tastes so bad that I finally relented and bought an RV water filter.  At least now my coffee and ice cubes don't carry that nasty smell.

New water filter

 

Another purchase was a rolling shopping cart.  Since I mostly walk everywhere this has allowed me to go to the grocery store and purchase everything I need without worrying about carrying it back.  It also makes it possible for me to take empty jugs and fill them with purified water at the local water dispensary.  I had thought I might leave the cart when moving on but I love the cart so much I just may take it with me.

Shopping cart a little lop-sided because it is full of groceries

And, as much as I hate to admit it, I also purchased a small - 10" - portable TV for watching football.  It is not connected to cable and only picks up your basic channels, but it works well enough to feed my football addiction.

I love living in a town versus an RV park and feel I am settling in quite nicely:).

Celia

http://www.celiaonline.com/...and then she was there, this beautiful red haired woman singing Celtic songs and speaking of the Goddess.  And I remember who I am.  Why I am here.  And that Samhain is in the air and the veils are thin and there are other worlds and dimensions that I know and have traversed.  The hiding of yesterday is just that, yesterday...

Hiding

I am wrestling within myself and it is an all too familiar battle.  And yet I am still surprised how much I yearn to hide and remain small.

I don't readily or easily talk about all the things I can "do".  I rarely offer up the fact that I do divinations, tarot readings, clearings.  I almost never talk about cranial touch and it only comes up after I have known someone for several weeks and it feels appropriate.  I am playing the game of being a solo, full-time female RVer who travels around and gets workamping jobs and I pretend that is all I am. What I am not sharing are all those other parts of me and I am not sure why.  And when I do find myself opening and disclosing my other aspects, I want to duck and run for cover.  That is the battle.

I had a conversation with a local massage therapist.  In that conversation I was very candid and exposed myself and even offered him a cranial session.  In return he offered me space, rent free, so that I could do more cranial touch work.  Now I feel that I want to take it all back, wishing the conversation never took place, wanting to hide within Minnie.

I am trying to just allow the timing of all this, to get out of the way and allow......

Sometimes I just really hate not being in control.

Visitor

Jennifer came to visit.  I have never seen someone back up quite the way she does, upper torso out the window, but she backed into my old spot and stayed for two nights.  It was a very surreal two days.

Unique way of backing up

Jennifer in my old spot

I started reading Jennifer's blog in January 2010 (http://livinginmycar.com/blog/), was pulled in by her writing style, graphics and videos, and then continued to follow her blog as her life and mine began interweaving and connecting in a beautiful, magical way.  I watched and read as she struggled with the parting of precious possessions, attended mechanics school and prepared a solo journey to the Arctic Ocean.  The Arctic Ocean on your own!!??  She inspired me, made me laugh, touched my heart and allowed me into her world and all its history.

We shared several personal emails and I was hoping some day our paths would cross and we would be able to travel together.  When she was wondering where in her travels to go next, I posted a comment on her blog that if she was in the area I would love to meet her and as if by magic, there she was, in the office bearing a box of pizza.

It was as if we had always known one another; no surprises, no uncomfortable silences, no tip-toeing around one another, we were just filling in the blanks so that we would be totally up to date with where we were now so we could proceed forward.  We talked for hours, toured other hot springs hotels, sat in each others' motor homes and discussed the pros and cons of each and discussed issues that only a fellow female nomad would understand.  It was a wonderful meeting of kindred souls.

And then she left, leaving me yearning to also go on the road.  She has only gone as far as Santa Fe and will be back the end of the month when we will travel together to the White Sands National Monument.

Now that she has gone, if almost feels as if she were never here, that is how strange this land can be.  But I am looking forward to the time when she will walk back into my world again.

Saturday Soakers

Just finished working a very busy Saturday night, all by myself. 

I am one of those very fast learners so the manager has left me totally on my own for the past two nights.  Friday wasn't too busy, but tonight is designated as "Saturday soakers" and it lived up to its name.  I was very busy, but not as busy as I was during my Mt. Hood gig. I came home tired but not feeling overwhelmed.  But I have also started to question myself as to how much I really want to work.  Although I can't really classify my job here as work, it still puts me on a schedule with certain expectations and I am starting to rebel at the very thought of any type of constraint.  I am working three days on, three days off, and it amounts to approximately 30 hours per week.  I love living in T or C, want to stay awhile, but am still on the fence as to staying until mid-January or April 1st.  If I stay until January, I can go to Arizona and veg out until a summer workamping job starts.  If I stay until April, I will only have a month, month and a half, until the next job starts. I am just not sure how much I want to "work".

And, if I wasn't busy enough this evening, my newly adopted pet Minnow somehow dislodged her continuous water supply dish and I realized the glug glug glug noise I was hearing was water running all over the floor.   Just another thing to tend to!  She later spent time sitting on my lap as if to apologize for the inconvenience of it all.  I love having a cat in my life again.

Minnow