The Aspect Of My Life

Monday, October 25, 2010

Hiding

I am wrestling within myself and it is an all too familiar battle.  And yet I am still surprised how much I yearn to hide and remain small.

I don't readily or easily talk about all the things I can "do".  I rarely offer up the fact that I do divinations, tarot readings, clearings.  I almost never talk about cranial touch and it only comes up after I have known someone for several weeks and it feels appropriate.  I am playing the game of being a solo, full-time female RVer who travels around and gets workamping jobs and I pretend that is all I am. What I am not sharing are all those other parts of me and I am not sure why.  And when I do find myself opening and disclosing my other aspects, I want to duck and run for cover.  That is the battle.

I had a conversation with a local massage therapist.  In that conversation I was very candid and exposed myself and even offered him a cranial session.  In return he offered me space, rent free, so that I could do more cranial touch work.  Now I feel that I want to take it all back, wishing the conversation never took place, wanting to hide within Minnie.

I am trying to just allow the timing of all this, to get out of the way and allow......

Sometimes I just really hate not being in control.

3 comments:

  1. Just take a deep breath and breath.

    Travel Safe

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  2. why do you wish that you didnt tell him about your skills. I am confused.

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  3. Is this a hiding due to timidity, shyness, or fear of failure? If so, are these things you seek to overcome?

    Or, do you hide because you are content with your own company and solitude is a good place for you?

    Hiding is not always bad. However, if hiding prevents you from being fully yourself, perhaps it is worth giving up to some degree.

    It sounds like you have an opportunity. What do you want to do with it?

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