Hiding

I am wrestling within myself and it is an all too familiar battle.  And yet I am still surprised how much I yearn to hide and remain small.

I don't readily or easily talk about all the things I can "do".  I rarely offer up the fact that I do divinations, tarot readings, clearings.  I almost never talk about cranial touch and it only comes up after I have known someone for several weeks and it feels appropriate.  I am playing the game of being a solo, full-time female RVer who travels around and gets workamping jobs and I pretend that is all I am. What I am not sharing are all those other parts of me and I am not sure why.  And when I do find myself opening and disclosing my other aspects, I want to duck and run for cover.  That is the battle.

I had a conversation with a local massage therapist.  In that conversation I was very candid and exposed myself and even offered him a cranial session.  In return he offered me space, rent free, so that I could do more cranial touch work.  Now I feel that I want to take it all back, wishing the conversation never took place, wanting to hide within Minnie.

I am trying to just allow the timing of all this, to get out of the way and allow......

Sometimes I just really hate not being in control.