TTRV

I am back outside of Tombstone, AZ and settled in for a month's stay at Tombstone Territories.  It is just what I wanted, lots of land and sky.  The stars at night are spectacular and I only wish they would make it mandatory to turn off all outdoor lights at night.  Now that would be something!

There are several hiking trails which lead nowhere, in the midst of nowhere.

I am nestled within this bowl that is surrounded by mountains.

Home Sweet Home

Life

I am back to life as I know it.

This Sunday I am finally leaving Mesa and heading to Tombstone, AZ to stay for at least a month.  I am looking forward to those big open spaces, sky and land.  Oh, I have missed it!

I had the carpet cleaned and had a final meal with Priscilla and have begun all the preparations for the next chapter.  Laundry, groceries, packing and cleaning.

While in Eugene I secured a job for the summer on the Oregon coast. I am ever so thankful I will not be back in the mountains and instead will be in Lincoln City at the Premier RV Resort.

So life goes on.

Memories of Sam

Sam is the blond kneeling in front, I am behind him in the plaid shirt

I met him when I was 18 and he was still 17.  He was a small town boy from Nebraska and I was a big city girl from New Orleans.  We met our very first week in Boulder, Colorado during freshman orientation.  Our lives would continue to interweave for the next 42 years.

Sam Without a Shirt

A college friend sent me these pictures.  Sam was my Golden Boy during those years, full of sun and laughter.  By the time I met him he had already experienced the death of both his parents and more painful experiences than most of us will know in our life times.  But in those early years, life was full of possibilities and adventure.  Or, at least, women:).

I was not a particularly easy woman to love. My soul demanded travel and independence and I could not be tied down.  But Sam loved me anyway.  In our early 20s he was devastated to learn that while in Greece I had met and married a Greek dancer.  But Sam loved me anyway and waited out the years until I returned to his life.  During our 23 years of marriage he allowed me more free rein than most men would find possible and all he ever asked is that I return.

Sam was also not an easy man to love.  The pain and the hurt he had accumulated created emotional boundaries that could never be scaled.  He was a sensitive soul and the world was a very harsh place.  The walls became thicker and stronger and he became trapped with his demons.  But I loved him anyway.

I will always love him and carry a piece of him within my heart.  Although that is the last time I will see him in that particular form, I have no doubt we will find each other again.

Back At Aztec

I finally made it back to the Aztec park.  I had a very early flight and only briefly slept the night before but the flights were smooth and easy and I eventually found the shuttle bus that brought me back to the sacred womb of Minnie.

And so I am back, trying to plug back into my former life.

My world feels sadder than it was before.  The residents of this park look older than they did before.  I find myself tuning into a techno music station on Pandora.  I look different when I see myself in the mirror.  I feel young and excited, and old and weary.

The dust is still settling, but I know everything will be just fine.

Not Going Anywhere

Flight was cancelled again. I have a very early flight tomorrow morning which may, or may not, be the one that takes me back to the sunshine.

Weather Delay

I was supposed to leave today. The weather had other plans. An unusual storm blew into Seattle, stranding people, cars and planes. I was supposed to be on one of those planes. But here I still sit in my son's apartment, hanging with the twenty-somethings. I have been listening to techno trance/dance music, watching laser light shows and listening to interesting conversations. I have been sleeping on a lumpy sofa and fighting the urge to obsessively clean. I have been having a wonderful time. Maybe tomorrow my flight will leave. Maybe it won't. Maybe tomorrow night I will be back with the 55+ crowd. Maybe I won't. As the twenty-something crowd says, "No worries, it's all good".

Grief

Grief can be so slippery. It will leave for five minutes, for an hour, even for an entire day. But then it finds it's way back. It comes back in so many forms that there can be no defense. It slithers in on words a dear friend has sent. It echoes through the phone call from a long forgotten friend. It wraps around my heart while looking at photos. It clutches my belly while discarding the remnants of a life. It never wanders too far. It slips in and out of my life.