The Aspect Of My Life

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Death

My friend Sherida has been traveling with three dogs, the best mom any dog could have. She loved them, cooked chicken and rice for them, talked to them and they were her children.

Today she had to euthanize one of her beloved pets. Lilly the Licker ruptured a disc in her spine which paralyzed her hind legs and the only other option was a very expensive surgery. I cannot imagine the pain and emptiness she is feeling over such a loss. They have become like family to me, Sherida, Greg, Patty, Mickey and Lilly. I have laughed so much with them, eaten many meals with them, walked their dogs and they have been there for me every time I have needed help. I hope I can now be of some support for them to ease them through this process.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Microwave

I finally got a new microwave up and running after being without one for a month. Didn't realize how much I missed it until I was able to use one again. It was a much more involved procedure than I had anticipated so am ever so thankful for the help of friends and their tools. And it truly is a fabulous new microwave, it even has a grilling feature. Nothing is too good for Winnie:).

Went to Bayou Bob's for lunch the other day and it turned into a day of total gluttony. Shrimp po'boy, cajun fries, fried pickles for lunch and for dinner I grilled a big chunk of Amberjack fish that was caught fresh the day before and topped it off with Key Lime pie I brought home from Bayou Bob's. Good food, good full belly. Because of a fisherman's good fortune, I ended up with enough Amberjack for another meal and two meals worth of White Snapper. Amazing how people continue to feed me:).

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Changes

I bought a microwave, as yet to be installed but I am hoping it will work, played my last game of Bingo (won $5!), ate my last doughnut at Wednesday morning "coffee and doughnuts", somewhat defrosted the freezer, got Winnie an oil change (she is absolutely purring:)), got new neighbors (they don't seem very friendly at this point), stocked up on supplies, received an awesome memory foam for my bed as a gift from Louise the Canadian and made reservations for Mexico Beach from February 1-13. Whew! Been a busy couple of days and the week is flying by in preparation for moving down the road.

I am in my typical grieving phase as I say goodbye to the place that has been my home for a month. I have met such amazing people, laughed with them, heard their stories, shared our hearts. Emotionally getting geared up for once again being on my own, with Winnie my sole companion. I will be weepy for a few days, savoring all my experiences and memories, and come Monday, I will have processed this "leaving energy" and be eager for the new adventure. I have been through this so many times in my lifetime. I am familiar with this pattern of an early energetic leave taking, so when the actual moment arrives, I am ready.

But for now, I am in mourning.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Soggy Sunday

Another wet one today but perfect to hole up in the recreation room and watch the football playoffs. Football is one of my passions, seemingly at odds with the path I walk, but I can watch a full day of football and never get enough. It was wonderful to have the recreation room all to myself, to cheer my team on and pace around the room as the Saints looked like they may not win. But, way to go Saints!, we have been waiting a long time.

To date, I am the only one I have met that is not traveling with a TV. I am an oddity not only because I am a single woman traveling alone, but also because I do not have a pet or a TV. Also, as of right now, I do not have a microwave. I have learned that I need so very little in the way of "comforts". I do love having my laptop and an ample supply of books to read, but I may even be able to do without those if I had to. What I am really missing right now are trees and mountains and their beautiful faces and I am longing to sit within a grove of trees. I have made a daily ritual of communing with the Santa Rosa Sound, but I still miss my trees.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Prophet

The man across from me has declared himself to be a Prophet. He has glimpsed a vision of the future and is now stock piling goods in preparation for the coming times of economic collapse and the decimation of a huge percentage of the population. He is crying for people to WAKE UP!!!!! I heard this wake up call a few years back, and even though our visions have some similarity, they are also quite different.

And I wonder, am I totally naive, a distinct possibility, or is my own personal Truth something that will withstand the coming of this new earth? Change is the only inevitable, forget about death and taxes, and the facts are that our Earth, and all the planets in our galaxy, are undergoing changes as we prepare for events that occur once every 26,000 years. I do not believe that anyone has the entire picture, an impossibility that our human form could grasp such enormity, but I do believe in visions.

And so I am left with my own personal perception, perspective of what is daily unfolding. I am a Seer, as he is a Prophet. Are we madmen, madwomen, with our sights that no one else can see? Will it even matter?

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Games

I finally won at Bingo, a whopping $4.00, and promptly lost it the next night playing Texas Hold'Em. And, I have discovered I like to watch people play Texas Hold'Em much more than I enjoy actually playing the game.

There is this strange, foreign language of "the river, the flop, in the pocket" that eludes me. This is such unfamiliar territory and the cards know I am at odds with them. I am supposed to watch my own hand and also anticipate what other people may be "holding". I rarely know what is going on and seldom have any cards I can play. The Tarot cards may speak to me, but these playing cards shun me as we have no familiarity.

The cards love my friends from Las Vegas and they are always the big winners. I love the way Sherida shuffles the cards, the energy flowing between her and the cards, a soft caress passing between them. No wonder she wins so often!

Me, I am happy when I have lost all my money which means I can finally quit!

Storm

The Thunder and Lightening Gods were in the playing fields last night. At first we thought it was cannons going off from Pensacola, but soon realized it was thunder and a ferocious storm blew in that lasted into the early morning hours. The rains poured down, the winds blew and thunder and lightening kept interrupting my sleep.

This morning it is misty. Usually you can see all the way to Navarre Beach, but today there is very limited visibility. We are wrapped in a cocoon as we wander around and tell our stories of our experience of the storm. Once again, we have survived one of Mother Nature's myriad faces. It brings us closer together, as the world has drawn closer together to aid Haiti. It is humbling to feel our smallness in the face of Nature.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Neighborhood

I am not sure if I will ever get used to people passing in and out of my life. That is exactly the type of lifestyle I have signed on for, but I have yet to adjust and still feel the sadness as people move on, drive down the road and I wonder if our paths will ever meet again.

Yesterday was one of those days that feels like a week's worth of artificial time has been compacted into a 24 hour span. Two readings in the morning, afternoon spent sunning, reading, laughing, just "hanging out". My wonderful neighbors moved to a spot a couple spaces down so lots of visiting going on and I am now awaiting new neighbors. Strange to have no one next to me, a big open space, but at the same time it is very peaceful.

Feels like so many new people have arrived. The sweet, calm beach almost felt like Miami Beach yesterday with so many people. More people than usual at the Tiki Hut for the daily sunset ritual. Us "old timers" that survived the bitter cold snap lording it over those that have shown up for the warmer weather.

Evening spent playing Texas Hold'em down at Gypsy Larry's RV. I don't have a gambling gene in my body and could never quite get the hang of how to play. Didn't matter, I was just there for the chips, dip and amusement.

I was the first one to leave and got home just in time for a phone call from a fellow cosmic traveler, relaying messages I needed to receive. I love the way the cosmic forces create a perfect alignment, connecting pieces of the Divine Mosaic, making sure I get my own unique "piece" that keeps me true to my path. Lots of information coming in.

The sadness of the day is that Gypsy Larry and Robin left this morning. They had originally planned to stay until Thursday so the suddenness has left a gaping hole in the neighborhood, with fishing plans and a weiner roast being re-thought. Holes are left but will be refilled. I will get a new neighbor next to me, my previous neighbors will also get a new neighbor, new people will be met, and I will also bear the sadness as people leave to travel their road. And, at some point, it will be my turn to leave, and someone will come in to fill my space.

Will it ever get easier?

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Music

I have discovered that Winnie does have a truly bitchin' stereo within the living section. Unfortunately, so did the neighbors:).

I am not one that usually plays music, much more enjoying peace and quiet and the serenity that comes with a quiet place to rest the mind. However, something was in the air yesterday and a particular song by Kan Nal needed to be heard. And then once I started playing the CD, and I realized the quality of sound the speakers put out, I just couldn't get it loud enough. The music was taking me higher and higher and the volume kept getting turned up louder and louder. It wasn't until later that I realized how loud it sounded outside and how much my neighbors were subjected to the volume.

But, there is nothing like Kan Nal or Jesse Cook to take you into the other realms. Flying, soaring, riding the sound vibrations wherever they take you. Whew...sure was good!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Rainy Day

We are having "wind driven heavy rain" today. A wonderful day of cleansing which feels in alignment with the recent new moon/solar eclipse.

I am tucked away within my Winnie cocoon, wrapped in my Goddess garb, burning incense and candles, enjoying this time of inner reflection. So much to do....write, read, watch a movie, color mandalas, work on my needlepoint, and I find myself just enjoying the sound of the rain and the wind and looking out my window. I know how fortunate I am to be able to luxuriate within time, to have no plan, no schedule, no agenda, to peacefully float within the moment. And I also know this allows me to be available in those moments, to be present for whatever may come my way, and I am happy this exchange has been created.

That is me today, but just the other day I did something I thought I would never do again....I bought a sweatshirt! It is bright blue with a large yellow sun on the back and has the Emerald Beach RV Park name on it. I couldn't resist. But I refuse, absolutely refuse, to start wearing a ballcap again!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Sweet Heart

Oh, and I have never been called "Sweet Heart" so many times in my life:).

Joy

Who are you when you are no longer surrounded with things, belongings, titles, all the things that have defined you for so many years. When you are stripped naked, down to the very marrow of your bones, what is it that remains.

I have not felt such joy in a long time. I am finally free to be who I have always been, but never allowed myself to fully embody. There are no expectations to be anything other than that which I am.

The days bring me such sweetness and I am remembering how to be more intimate with life, to open my heart more fully, to laugh, love, spread my wings. It feels I have come out of such a great darkness....

There are still moments when I get a faint whiff of that darkness, but I walk out onto the sand, into the water, and feel the cleansing coming through me, surrounding me.

I am blessed to be here, with all the beautiful souls who have also shown up, to laugh with me, cook for me, share with me, open themselves up to me. And trust me to do their Sabian Symbols, Cranial Touch and Tarot readings. It is such a beautiful, beautiful playing field.....

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Characters

The "play" that I am currently living in has so many different and interesting characters.

There is my neighbor, who makes homemade manicotti and feeds everyone who comes within her range. She is gutsy, ballsy, and bigger than life. She is from Las Vegas and at one point in her life made her living by gambling. We are very dangerous together as playmates, but I could not enjoy a neighbor any more. She is married and they are traveling with three dogs so it is always a bit of a three ring circus, Circus Circus on wheels:). It will be a sad day when one of us moves on from this park.

Next to my neighbors is "surfer dude" - a very nice, good looking man.

Next to him is Preacher Steve who had a near death experience when he was in his 20s and all conversations with him are of the sermon variety. As long as the conversations are not too lengthy, I love hearing him speak the word of God.

To date, my favorite character is Gypsy Larry. If ever there was an Angel inhabiting a human body, it would be him. He currently has a brain tumor and has a traceotomy in his throat from a previous bout with cancer. He was told he would never talk again, and yet here he is, talking and telling these double-over laughing stories. He has a blog site, gypsylarry.com, that is worth taking a look at.

Oh, and then there was a couple who are traveling with a parrot and the parrot walked up onto my arm. That was a first! And the couple who hooked up around Christmas time and the park has been talking about and enjoying:).

Such a wide variety of people, from so many different walks of life and beliefs, meeting up at this particular point in time and sharing in this experience together.

Gotta love it!

Continuous Traveler

It is official, I am now classified as a "continuous traveler" on my driver's license and registration.
Wow, Gypsy Woman and I have become one.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Community

I am living within a community. This has been on my list of "possibilities" for awhile, I just didn't expect it to show up in this particular version.

My experience of RVers has been that they are very friendly, very helpful, and happy to share road warrior tales. With the frigid weather that we have been living with for the past week, the community has come together to share insulation, tips to prevent hoses from freezing, hearty welcomes each morning and homemade manicotti. It feels like the type of neighborhoods we used to enjoy, where you sit on your porch or meander down the street and talk to all your neighbors about their kids, what's for dinner, the weather, etc.

The weather was warm yesterday so I washed Winnie. So many people stopped to chat, tell me what a good job I was doing, could I come wash their rig?? People have time on their hands, their is no hurrying off to a job, no particular place to be. They walk their dogs, watch the park activities, notice who is new, who has moved on, do laundry, take out the garbage, enjoy the sunshine...

I had envisioned myself traveling from community to community, and here it is. Whodda thunk???

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Navarre, Florida

Welcome to sunny Florida, where the weather was so cold last night my water hose froze. Looks like we will be having the same weather for the next week, but I now know the formula to keep the water flowing. Too many people told me too many various ways to prevent the freeze, and now I know who to listen to. Just another learning experience to add to my new book of knowledge.

Winnie and I are much more comfortable with one another and I can now drive for six hours without my nervous system going on high alert. This is my second time back to Florida, once bringing my brother and son down for Christmas, and then back again, and then back again. My original plan had been to head to Mexico Beach, Florida for a month or so, but when I arrived at this RV park in Navarre it felt very much like home so I just decided to stay here for a month or more. It is cool during the day, but the sun shines so it is not too bad. Right about now it is hard to find anyplace that is warm.

I have been in rain deluges, mud up to my ankles, driven through Houston in the dark of night, and Winnie has been scratched and torn by low hanging trees. Spent four hours in Hammond, Louisiana and $400 to get new mud flaps and roof vents replaced. Louisiana was not very good to Winnie and I am happy to be stationary for awhile and settle in with personal belongings back out of the storage spaces. I am here at least until the first of February, and maybe longer.

It has been a challenge to be so much with the unfamiliar, never knowing what the day will bring, where will I spend the night, will I have enough propane to stay warm, a myriad of potential mechanical issues to deal with and knowledge to learn. It feels very much like a quote from someone I met who was trying to help me solve the problem of my now non-working microwave, "Every day is a test, and I must pass". And, the microwave remains non functioning and I have decided to just learn to live without it instead of paying to have it fixed.

New Year's Eve was as unusual as I could have ever imagined. I arrived in Navarre after a very hellish day in Hammond. The sun was shining, it was warm, I had a deluxe RV site right next to the water and it felt like the day from heaven. I was meeting people right and left, RV parks are like that, and was cajoled into going to the New Year's Eve potluck at the pavillion (rec center). So there I was, surrounded by Rving couples, my head wet from the shower, enjoying my new friends and all their stories, thinking to myself, "last new year's eve, I never would have thought this is what the next new year's eve would look like!". Met some really wonderful people, hoping they would adopt me:), and once again fell in love with a dog. Oh, she was so beautiful! And soft, and sweet and everything I want in a dog, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. Putting in my request for one, even though I understand they are quite expensive. She even spent time on my bed and I fed her roast beef as a treat and if her owner's didn't already love her so much, I would have stolen her right out of their RV! Gotta get me a dog......