Writing

I was going to write my first book by the time I was 16.  It is the only dream I can remember of what I wanted to do and be.   That book never got written and I put aside the dream and stopped writing for a very long time.

I did start to write book a few years back when I needed to put down in words all the experiences of my time with the Tree.  Once I started writing, I realized all the experiences that led up to my time with the Tree also needed to be woven into the story and it just became too big for me to hold onto.  I couldn't live in the present moment and the past at the same time.  There are too many moment to moment, day to day insights coming through to be able to hold onto the moment that has just passed.  So I put it aside.

 Some days I wake up and there is a story that will not rest until I have released it to this blog.  In my mind the story has already been written and there is a need to release it through my fingertips.  If it is not released, there is an energetic dam that is built and the water of my thoughts will keep relentlessly  pounding against it until I finally give in and allow the words to come forth.  There have been times when I have resisted sharing my inner landscape, and other times I have written things in different venues that I knew would cause major dissension.  It is my truth, no one else's, but sometimes I absolutely must share or face my own consequences.

So, I am thanking all of you have followed along and read my words. I have tried to remember what my friend Romaine told me, "write for yourself", so that I do not lose myself.  Sometimes it is very tempting to hold back and make it more of a "normal" blog about living and traveling in a motorhome, and some days are like that,  but then there are days like today when I allow more intimacy -    in-to-me-see.

And then I just hit the publish post button and move on.