Tiny Little Boxes

I had a bit of a "tune-up" this morning.  While floating within the layers of my consciousness I glimpse a crescent wrench tightening up a loose bolt within my third eye and things feel a bit clearer for me this morning.

I have more clarity as to why my workamping job feels so challenging.  While at work my consciousness is contained within a very small box.  It is all about staying focused, remembering a vast array of numbers,  which buttons to push, which sequence will get me the desired result and this is all compounded with the constant ringing of the phone and people in the store asking questions.  I have a new understanding as to how this all works, how we can become so absorbed within this sticky web that there is no thought beyond just getting through the day and why at the end of the day I am mentally exhausted and depleted.  It is a brilliant system of "forgetfulness".

I now understand it on a much deeper level and why I feel tethered, rebellious and even a bit angry.  I have fallen into the slave machine.

Now, how will I respond with this new insight?

New Battery

Minnie hasn't been out on the road for awhile so I thought I would start her up to make sure she was still in working order.  Nope, she was not in running condition.  After starting her with the help of the auxiliary battery and the generator she was good for one day, but completely dead again the next day.  After a day's worth of battery charging, still nothing.  Time for a new battery.

I was mulling over the best way to get a new battery, Wren could possibly take me when she comes for a visit on Wednesday; my dad could take me when he comes to visit after the 4th of July; I could possibly get a charge to the battery and drive Minnie to get a replacement battery;  which is the best option....
Time to sleep on it and ask Spirit for some direction.

The next morning Gloria is knocking on my window wanting to know if I would like to go to Kohl's with her.  Count me in!  I am in dire need of an outing.  Also, she is happy to stop along the way to purchase the needed battery.

Neighbor Everett gets the battery out for me and calls Napa to check on the price for a new battery.  It is all set up so that I just need to get to Napa and they will have the battery waiting for me.  Ken, Gloria's husband, gets the battery into Gloria's car, the Napa salesperson has the battery and exchanges the old for the new, cost of $109.00, and when I return several hours later Everett cleans up the connections for me, installs the battery and Minnie is now revved up and ready to roll.

It is the kindness of these wonderful people that humbles me, shows me my vulnerabilities and weaknesses.  All that is asked of me is that I "pay it forward".

Sun Home/Shade Home

Now that the Sun has finally decided to show its face, I travel to Ken and Gloria's site for sun bathing, and then return back to my place for the coolness of the shade.  Thinking I have the best of both worlds:).

Summer Solstice

Thunderbird, my Drum, has not been out in a very long time.  Since it was the Summer Solstice, there was a certain "insistence" that He be played and so I started a fire and Thunderbird began the beautiful song that always calls upon the Tribes to gather.  Who knew that a particular three year old girl would hear that song and show up to share this solstice ritual with me.

As I began to drum, my neighbor's three year old granddaughter could hardly contain herself and was soon asking if she could come and join me.  She came, pacifier in mouth, and I asked if she would like to play my "very special rattle".  This rattle was gifted to me by my dear friend Romaine who is of the Cherokee Nation and is the perfect size for a three year old.  We were soon drumming and rattling around the fire.  It was not until later that her grandmother shared with me that this particular child has Cherokee blood.  It may have been the first time that this music has touched the very blood of her Soul.

After she rattled for awhile, I asked if she would like to play the drum.  We switched and I took over the rattle and held the drum while she "played" Thunderbird.  Thunderbird is an amazing communal drum, you are allowed to use the mallet, but He sings the Song.  Everyone always loves Thunderbird and I know He is to be shared freely and widely.  It is just the energy of this particular Drum.

At the end of our beautiful ritual together, I asked this three year old if she would like a special feather, stone or shell.  She thought long and hard and decided upon a shell.  I brought out my array of sacred Shells and asked her to choose the one she loved the best.  I then placed it in a pink gauze bag, told her it was hers to keep and take care of, and sent her off to bed.

I do not know what effect this has had on this particular child's life, but for me, it was one of the sweetest Solstice's I have ever experienced.

Ben Comes to Visit

The best present ever, my son unexpectedly came to visit.  We folded down the table to make a bed for him and he stayed for two nights.

I have not had such quality time with him in years and now I feel somewhat sad that he is gone.  We went up to the Timberline Lodge, talked and laughed together, stayed up into the early morning hours and laid in my bed and watched Avatar on my computer.  We have not shared this type of time together since he was 7 years old and it was just the two of us while his dad was off at law school.  It is always so much easier when it is just the two of us.

I like the table down so much that I have now turned it into a permanent couch and Minnie seems cozier and roomier.  With the curtains drawn over the cab and at the foot of the bed, it is almost a three room condo:)!

Not sure how I feel about anyone else sharing my personal sleeping space, but my son is always welcome.

As my son would say, "peace out, girl scout".

Jan, My Neighbor

I am always so happy when my neighbor Jan shows up for the weekend.  It feels like it is the only time I have any real conversation, far from the mundane world of working and the Oregonian mountain people that have become the staple of my days.

Jan is a Stanford graduate, did some time at Harvard, and I love being able to converse on a variety of subjects.  After a long eight hour shift she greets me with a note on my door, "Nice Weather!  9:30 - Yes!", meaning the weather is once again raining, and she will be happy to join me at 9:30 PM when my shift ends for cocktails and conversation.

It is midnight before we are sated with conversation and I tell her for the umpteenth time how much I love having her as my neighbor, how much I enjoy her company and we are finally able to retire to our separate homes.

After another eight hour shift tomorrow, she will be there waiting for me, as I will be looking forward to her, and we will share our lives and stories with one another, knowing how special this time between us is and savoring every moment.

Cosmic Storm

My sleep pattern is a mess right now.  Most people shut their eyes to go to sleep at night and a wonderful darkness enfolds them as they are transported to Dreamtime.  Not me.

When I shut my eyes Tuesday night I was bombarded with waves of intense swirling energies.  Electric spirals of energy.   Kept me awake most of the night and when I finally did fall asleep I could barely wake up until someone knocked on my door.  It was noon.

Last night when I shut my eyes I was treated to a flood of massive proportion, an epic Noah's Ark flood.  Luckily this particular "movie" didn't last too long and I was able to fall asleep fairly quickly.

I know some people who are in Egypt right now and  my sense is that whatever they are doing is particularly powerful and that I am tuning into this work they are doing.  What a ride!

Socializing

I love socializing and meeting new people.  This is one of the reasons why I have chosen this particular life style.

However, I also love being by myself, finding my own company very healing and soothing.  It is a balancing act that requires daily refinement and just the right mixture of solitude and companionship.

Yesterday was a bit of a juggle as I found myself with too many commitments.  Neighbor Jan is in town so we spent some time talking.  I also was expected for cocktails with Gloria and Ken and Chelle stopped by to invite me for pork spareribs.  In addition, Everett was back from work and in need of conversation.  Because this section of the park is designated for the long term residents, the bond is different.  We will be in each other's lives for several months versus several hours or days and this has taken some adjustment on my part.   I am known, even if on a very surface level.  People stop by, people knock on my door, people find me.  (It is now 9:15 PM and Chelle has just knocked on my door bringing me yet another meal.  I feel as if I am being stalked with food).

This is a new experience for me and it needs a bit of refinement.  With the weather turning warmer, I will be outside more but that will not necessarily mean I will be wanting more conversation.  Maybe I should put up a Do Not Disturb sign.....

Pizza Night

My planned pizza night has been taken from me.  Last Wednesday Gloria made a wonderful curry and I supplied ice cream sundaes as my contribution.  My turn for the main meal was coming up this Wednesday and I had already decided this was becoming too much of a burden for me and after my pizza night, I was going to bale on the weekly workamper get together.  I am not trying to recreate any aspects of my former life that I did not enjoy.

I stayed late after last week's dinner and Gloria confided in me that she no longer wanted it to be such a scheduled event, and would like it to be a bit more impromptu.   Glad to know I was not the only one feeling a bit stressed by this "schedule".

I expressed my feelings to Chelle, how  I am not enjoying this, and to count me out on any further weekly gourmet meals.   Chelle loves to cook, will happily cook three meals a day, and since no family will be with them for the next few days, she wants to cook one last adult meal.  I happily hand over Wednesday's meal to her.  Instead of my planned "going out for pizza" she is planning a meal of  baked feta, pistachio crusted shrimp, Greek chicken, and who knows what else.  In addition to this menu, she continues to try to feed me daily, along with the entire office staff.  It is starting to feel like too much and I have recently turned down two meals.

Lesson learned.

A Glimpse

The rains have finally ended and the forecast looks good for the next 10 days.  The faucet has been turned off and we are all now enjoying a more typical Oregonian summer.

Yesterday I took my dinner break around 5:30 PM and made the walk back to Minnie.  As I was beginning to approach this vehicle I call home, the light shifted and the colors changed, so much so that I no longer recognized the landscape.  I have lived in this spot for over a month and am familiar with the many shades and color nuances, but this was different, it felt more like a physical shift and the coloring very other-worldly.

I have heard and read much lately about the New Earth, as if the Earth egg is dividing to form a different world for those choosing that direction.  I wonder if this was just the briefest glimpse...

Wren

My dear friend Wren came to visit and pulled me out of the field of poppies I had fallen into since arriving at Mt. Hood.

Thank you Wren, and all the wonderful Beings, for this timely help, encouragement and remembrance.  I didn't even realize that my sight was missing until the visions returned.  Feeling so much better:).

Sunday Paper

Finished another 20 hour work week.  This weekend was far easier than Memorial weekend due to the lower numbers checking in, but being mentally alert for 8 hours is still a challenge.  By Saturday night I am thoroughly exhausted and want nothing but to allow my mind some peaceful space.

I have a wonderful neighbor, her name is Jan, and she comes down for the weekend with her son Ben and sometimes her husband Carl.   She is a woman of the woods, climbs mountains and is the third string for mountain search and rescue crews.  She has left some wood and cardboard on my "new" picnic table but I am just too tired to build a fire and decide a lit candle will just have to suffice.  Happily, Jan comes out and offers to build a fire for me so we sit and chat for a few hours about our sons, both named Ben, the camp and our lives.  I tell her far too many times how happy I am that she is my neighbor.

After watching a movie I got to sleep around 1:00 AM and up again at 6:00 AM to get the Sunday newspaper.  Because they deliver a very limited number of papers, if you are not up that early, chances are you will not get the paper.  It is the only newspaper I purchase during the week and it is the Portland Oregonian and I love the travel section, the crossword puzzles, the weight and feel of it.

When I arrive at the news stand, there is an elderly gentleman who is surprised the paper is not in yet.  He comes every Sunday at the same time and assures me it should be in by now.  I decide to wait with him and enjoy the quiet and beauty of the early morning.  After about a half hour's wait, another woman shows up for the paper.  She also decides to wait.  Under normal circumstances, all of us probably would have gone home and come back another time, but there are now three of us waiting and all of us agree that there may only be 5-6 papers allotted to this particular box.  I love my Sunday paper, I want my Sunday paper, but how long should I wait?

I finally give in after an hour and a half.  It is raining, I am chilled and I am tired from lack of sleep.  I leave the other two people still waiting and go back home, sleep for a few hours and return at 10:00 AM to an empty box.  I don't know if the paper ever came, or if it did come and now they have all sold.  Bummer.

Before leaving to return home to Portland, neighbor Jan knocks on my door to say good-bye.  I tell her my tale of the morning paper vigil and she offers to get me a paper when she goes to the grocery store.  She is gone less than 15 minutes and returns with the prize, a Sunday newspaper.

How many times can I tell this woman how happy I am that she is my neighbor??

First Workampers Dinner

I don't think I can keep up, but it was an amazing feast!

Food

Food is starting to become somewhat of an issue.

I dislike cooking and at times even hate the whole idea of cooking.  I tried for 17 years to come to terms with the daily task of planning, shopping and cooking a meal.  I tried being inventive, new recipes, colorful cookbooks, crockpots, everything I could think of,  and rare was the day that I actually enjoyed cooking.  I am much happier just eating beans straight from a can.

I did make my first attempt to cook over an open camp fire this past weekend but even that felt more like a chore than a pleasant experience.  This cooking thing and I are just not meant to dance together.

Chelle has decided that the workampers should meet on Wednesdays when none of us are working and share a meal together.  I think this is a great idea until I realize they actually expect me to cook something for these meals.  I am great at bringing a bag of chips or hummus to these types of gatherings, but begin to hesitate when there is talk of appetizers and dessert and I know they won't let me get away with chips and a jar of salsa.  They seem to think it is just a matter of making something "easy", when for me nothing about cooking has ever been easy.  I have told them for my turn I want to order pizza and have it delivered, but they are already telling me these "easy" meals I can make.  The other four people love to cook and cannot begin to comprehend what it is like to loathe the mere thought of cooking.

As all my friends before them have eventually figured out, I do not like to cook, will not cook, and for my turn, there will be pizza delivered, or beans straight out of the can.

Here are pictures of Chelle in the kitchen, her husband David, and their foreign exchange student from Bangladesh.

Propane

This is the cheapest propane I have bought in the eight months of my new lifestyle.  The standard price is $2.50 per gallon but with my discount it is only $1.87.  And, not only is that an unbelievable price, but they also come right to my tank and fill it up.  It is so inexpensive that I have even started using propane for heat instead of my small electric heater.  Because I very sparingly use propane my full tank should last me until September.  What a deal.