The Aspect Of My Life

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Waves

Eat sleep shop read eat sleep shop read eat sleep shop read eat sleep shop read eat sleep shop read eat sleep shop read.........

Whew! Getting close to disconnecting from the 3D grid once again and entering an entirely different reality. 3D is fine to visit, but I no longer choose to make it my permanent reality. Although, I have certainly enjoyed football:).

Next week I am off to a retreat center just outside of Sedona, Arizona where there will be no TV, cell phones, internet or even meat. Four days of prayer, sacred fire and a much broader and expansive consciousness field. I am a Traveler and now instead of traveling through the stars and galaxies, I am traveling through different consciousness bands within the same planet. It is feeling quite delightful:).

I also feel the cosmic waves as they bathe the planet. Today, in the early morning hours, I surfed a wave of pure bliss, the first of its kind I have felt. Oh, how I hope that this is the new energy that we have been waiting for and that it is here to stay.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

My great grandmother

I miss my Minnie and sleeping within her womb. I wake up in the middle of the night and still feel that is where I am and then it takes me awhile to realize I am sleeping inside, in a house. And I dream each night that I am on the road traveling. I am very conscious and aware that the physical body and energetic body are living in different realms. It is good to be elastic.

Yesterday my mother and I spent some time going through boxes of old photos searching for a picture of my great grandmother, Minnie Minerva Devinney. Minnie Minerva died when I was around five or six years old and I only have one clear vision of her. We finally found the only picture my mother has of her, and my vision and the picture do not match. Strange how I can see her so clearly with an inner vision that is not reflected in this one snapshot. In my inner vision she is alive, she leans down and talks to me. Her physical and energetic bodies straddling the vast dimensions.

Thank you great grandmother for being my Guide on this journey.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Phoenix

Well, I have done it, I am in Phoenix, Arizona. Yahoo, yahoo, Yahoo!!!!!

Easy day's drive, some challenging wind coming across the desert but thankfully no blowing dust (plenty of signs warning me of this potential) and light traffic coming into Phoenix. I actually hit a point where I was feeling groovy. That is the only word that describes it most accurately. Groovy, in the groove.

So now I am resting at my mom's, getting fed well, enjoying this fast internet connection and the luxury of a hot bath and TV. Minnie is parked on the street, tucked in for the night. She has served me well, this steed of mine, and we are now taking a break for a few weeks until the next leg of the journey begins.

For those of you who are reading, I will post as often as there is something needing to be written.
But for now, I am Queen Susan, feeling pretty danged good:)!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Welcome to Arizona!

I have made it all the way to Arizona, and am now just a few hours outside of Phoenix. What an amazing accomplishment, particularly since I have only owned Minnie a little over a month. Wow is all I can say:).

The ride today was good, and there was that brief period of time where the road was smooth and open, no cars ahead or behind, and there was good music on the radio and it was that bit of nirvana that is so fleeting while traveling. Everything comes together to create the perfect conditions.

Even though there may be more traffic on the interstate, I am looking forward to roads that don't rattle my bones and Minnie's bones. It is so much more noticeable driving a motorhome and I have driven on some very rutted and grooved pavements. I cannot play CDs while driving because they jump and skip and bounce. The great stereo system I thought I was getting must not have skip protection so it is radio only. But I have finally figured out how to search for radio stations while driving and I love the surprise of hitting upon a station that is playing some great music.

How long have I been on the road??? Feels like much longer than just a week.....

The Desert

I love this land. It feels as if layers and layers of my previous self continue to be shed. And I had forgotten the lucid dreams this land evokes. Dream time so much more powerful than day time.
I hope my travels bring me back to Needles.

Leaving at some point today for Quartzite, Arizona and only a two hour drive. Curious to be back on the road and my next destination. Thankful to have had yesterday where it was too much of an effort to even sit outside and spent most of the day lying in bed drifting in and out of various worlds. Such an initiation.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Odysseus

Ohhhhh, it feels good to not be traveling. I decided to spend an extra day in Needles and have been spending my time reading and dozing and chatting with the neighbors. The weather is sunny, blue skies, bit of a breeze, but you can tell this desert can get mighty hot. It feels so peaceful here I was tempted to stay for a week but wasn't sure how my food and water supply would last and also wonder if I would ever be able to leave as this land seems to hypnotize me. Not for the first time I have found myself comparing my travels to that of Odysseus, buffeted by the Winds and the Gods, not knowing when Sirens or Cyclops will show up. Feels good to have Odysseus as my travel companion:).

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Needles, California

I am beyond tired and into depleted. That was not the plan for today. I had thought to stop in Barstow, half way across the Mojave, but the RV I had programmed into my GPS was nowhere to be found. Then I thought I might stay at a Flying J, but when I backtracked to the J, that was not a place I wanted to stay for any extended time. So my next plan was to stay in Ludlow, and there was NOTHING. And there continued to be NOTHING. Nothing to do but continue on to Needles and then the RV park I had programmed in took me to a vacant spot. It was now near 4:00 PM, I had been on the road since 9:30 AM, and I was jittery from all the Red Bulls and ready to cry. Thankfully when I called the RV park they guided me in and now I am in Needles, California and arrived just in time to set up before dark and watch a spectacular sunset.

I may stay here for another night just to recoup from the two very long days on the road. The wifi seems to be good, at least it is a secure connection, and at this point I don't ask for much more. Oh, and there is no highway noise or trains! I only have a short day to Quartzsite, Arizona and then a short day to Phoenix. It will be good to stop traveling.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Highway 99

Yuk, I am no fan of Hwy 99 and I hope someone will remind me of this fact if I ever think to travel it again. Choppy pavement, trucks, trucks, trucks, traffic, towns and the potential for fog and wind.
But, I put in my longest day yet and have arrived in Bakersfield, California, not a town you want to spend too much time in. It is a very large truck stop.

Having said that, I am delighted to be in Bakersfield for the simple fact of having made it here. This has become a milestone for me. I am now near Arizona and tomorrow after crossing the Mojave Desert I will be within touching distance. Wow. I am amazed with myself.

And, I am also extremely fatigued and tired and the wifi is testing my patience so enough for now.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Lodi, California

Two and a half hour drive today. Drove through Sacramento traffic!!!!! Called in a Guide to clear the traffic for me and to actually take over the driving. Seems to have worked:).

I also finally entered that "traveling zone" you sometimes enter when traveling and the stress and worry seem to leave and you are in the zone, at one with the road. Felt really good.

And I like the park I am at, each park so different from the last one. This is the first one that is gravel instead of paved, and the weather is warmer and the birds are singing. There is a point when you are no longer leaving, and are in the flow of being, until you get to the next point of arriving. I am now in that point of being.

It also feels as if there was a break through this morning. If I am laying bricks of my new foundation, I want those bricks to be as well laid as possible, with no fears attached to them. My new mantra, "what are the bricks you are laying?".

Isn't there a song about "stuck in Lodi"? I like it here, even though I think it is next to an active railroad track:).

Destruction = Creation

My former life is in shambles. It is as if a bomb of unknown force has exploded and I am now left with rubble and ruin at my feet as I look out upon a scenery of destruction. I have known this, friends have reflected this to me, but in the early morning hours I have finally seen this inner landscape and now know it to be true. And now I understand this feeling of overwhelm. It is the overwhelm of the rebuilding. And the drive, guts and determination that it will take to create a new world. It is hard work. And every day is like a new brick I lay in the foundation of this new world. And if I get too far ahead of myself this work looks insurmountable....how do you rebuild an entire world?

Why, by being the Creator herself.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Kindness of Strangers

Tonight I am in Chico, California, slowly making my way through the state.

Yesterday had its challenges and I needed to be "talked off the ledge" before I even left the casino/resort. The thought of filling up with gas, propane and checking my tires felt so overwhelming. Where do these fears come from???? My inner child was in full force and it took some help from my friend Wren to ease her out and call in some masculine inner guidance.

Drove Minnie less than one mile to the gigantic casino truck stop where the first stage was to fill up with gas. Since I was still in Oregon, didn't need to fill it myself and got instructions for the next stop, which was to fill up my propane tank. Drove around the lot to the next stage which was for propane. Proudly backed up Winnie and turned her around so the propane tank was properly positioned. Yea! Had to use the phone to call someone to come fill the tank, felt like I waited a long time so called again, and finally an older gentleman came trudging across the lot to fill the tank. Turns out he was the manager of the truck stop and since they were short handed, he was helping with the service. Don't know what his age was, maybe in his 60s, but you could tell his life had not been easy. Blood shot eyes, bad knees from old football injuries, getting by the best he could with the life he was living. He filled my tank, another long trek back to run my card, and then another slow walk back to return my card. As I said, this truck stop was enormous!, and he was not moving quickly:).

Next stop was to check the air in my tires so he directed me to the next area I needed to drive to and said if no one was there to help, to use the phone to call for assistance. Felt like the tire service was out in the middle of nowhere, and there was no one even remotely near to ask for any help. Well, maybe I can do this myself! Because the stems on the front tires were completely inaccessible, you have to pop off the hubcaps to get to them. I popped the front hubcap, checked the air, looked good, but could not get the hubcap back on, hurt my hand, got my hands dirty, wah, wah, wah. Okay, I give, I called for help. And who should I see walking from a far way away, but the manager. Must have been his lucky day:).

This wonderful man spent another 30-45 minutes, down on his re-assembled knees, checking the tire air pressure, filling the tires with air and even getting longer stems to put on all the tires to make it easier in the future. And, he didn't charge me a dime. Such kindness from a complete stranger who went out of his way to make my world a little easier on a day that had begun with me doubting the divinity that would show up. I wanted to hug him when it was all over, but wasn't sure if that was quite appropriate. So I showered as much love and light as I could through me, to him, and it felt good and perfect.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Seven Feather's Casino/Resort

http://www.sevenfeathers.com/

Heaven.....and Hell

Started out on the road today. Finally relinquished my car yesterday and once again said good-bye to Sam, so it was a very emotional day and one of many ups and downs. Problems needed to be resolved, the front tires on Minnie have these very recessed valves which means I need to use a screw driver and take off the hub caps to access them, how am I ever going to do all this??????

Good to finally just go, and trust that all will be well. The weather cooperated and even though the forecast was for rain and wind, the sun was shining when I left and the wind was a minor factor. I traveled slowly, kept in the right lane and was only on the road for less than two hours. I had packed tightly enough so nothing rattled, seem to have at least figured that much out, and white knuckled my way to Canyonville, Oregon. Well, maybe, more correctly, death gripped my way here. Had the opportunity to do some hills, adjust for some winds and feel a bit more comfortable driving Minnie. Glad I didn't try to travel any further on this first travel day.

While staying at Deerwood Park in Eugene I had heard several people talk about the Seven Feathers Casino in Canyonville and what a nice park it was so it looked to be a good place to stop for the first night. It is a wonderful park, nicely paved level sites nestled within a mountainous bowl. The sun was shining when I arrived, the desk clerks most helpful, and you even get an escort to your designated space. I splurged and paid an extra $3.00 for a pull through so I wouldn't have to back in. Really, really wonderful. I also took advantage of the pool, hot tub and shower facilities.

That was the heaven part. Now the hell part was the casino! I took the shuttle to the casino and as soon as I entered I was blasted by plumes of smoke from all the smokers in the casino. Seems you can smoke in these facilities! Even in the sports bar restaurant! Whodda thought? They do have a non-smoking casino area but to reach it you have to go through the entire smoke filled casino, and then exit through the smoke again when you leave. Yuk, yuk, yuk. I stayed just long enough to watch how miserably the Oregon Ducks were playing, get a Players Card which gets me an additional 10% off my nightly rate and $.03 off per gallon of gas if you use their gas station, and spend $2.00 gambling. I have no interest in gambling, have no idea what the thrill is, and haven't a clue how to even play the machines. Wow, what a difference between the RV park and its beautiful surroundings and the inner inferno of the casino. New and old energies so clearly defined. But I would stay here again, maybe even for a few days. I just wouldn't go to the casino again. Message received.

Off to Mt. Shasta tomorrow and up and over some big mountain passes. Going to check on the weather before I leave to make sure the road is dry and the snow levels are above 4500 feet. Should only take me a couple hours to get there and then will stay with my friend Wren who is feeding me salmon for dinner. That should be enough incentive to get me over those passes:).

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Fears

I have a fear of heights. Particularly a fear of being on ladders, with skinny steps. All that open air between steps just waiting to suck me into an abyss. I can do a step or two, but then the fear takes over. This fear has been with me for awhile.

Yesterday was a sunny Fall day in Eugene. As I was walking the loop around the RV park, I noticed a man on top of his RV sweeping the debris of fallen leaves from his RV. I thought to myself, "wish I could do that" as Minnie Minerva has been inundated with leaves from the tree that was so welcoming when I first moved in. Sodden leaves cover her top.

Minnie has a built-in ladder at the back which I have tried to climb on two occasions. Both times, two steps were my limit. The fear was too great and I had resigned myself to the fact that it was never going to happen. Plenty of people have never climbed onto the top of their RVs. I couldn't even buy a 6' ladder because I knew I would never be able to scale the top of that ladder. Just too high. Wind and rain would have to take care of keeping Minnie's top clean.

By the time I had made a few loops around the park, I watched another neighbor skimmy to the top of his RV and I watched him sweeping leaves. He had made it look so easy! Maybe I could do it as well. And so, for the first time I can remember, I climbed a ladder with no fear. The fear was just no longer there. But I remembered where that initial fear had come from, from a time when I was so young I have no conscious remembrance of it, and have only heard the story.

My father was up on the roof of our house and as a toddler I had climbed the ladder to follow him, my blond curly head showing up right behind him. His shock and fear were directly transmitted to my subconscious where they remained until yesterday. As I was climbing the ladder I remembered the story of following my father so I knew at one point in my life, there had been no fear of heights. This was not a fear that had come in from a previous life, but one that was a direct result from this lifetime. And now I could connect the fear and its origin.

There was still a bit of anxiety as I realized the roof was slipperier than I had anticipated and I did not have the proper shoes, I had no idea I would be up on the roof!, and then there was the question of how to get back down, but this was more problem solving and being cautious than having to work through any fears. The fear was gone. I still cannot believe how quickly it was just no longer there.

So, another example of walking through our fears has shown up for me. Our minds can build them up into such monsters that we can become powerless and become frozen in our path. I am going to try to remember this as I leap off into the great unknown and put to rest as many fears as possible, because some days there are so very many.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Samhain, Full Moon, Galactic 6th Night, 11/11/11

The veils are so thin now. Intense, powerful energies are bathing the Planet. Can you feel it???

As Bette Davis would say, "Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a bumpy ride":).