The Aspect Of My Life

Friday, August 13, 2010

A Year's Time

This time last year I was married, living in a beautiful 2,700 square foot home in the hills, four bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths, wrap around deck with a hot tub, all the bells and whistles.  I loved my beautiful art accumulated from around the world; drums from Africa, black pottery and knic-knaks from Mexico, wooden bowls from Costa Rica.  Art work from Guatemala, Greece and New Orleans adorned my walls.  I had an office where I saw clients for readings and another room set up for cranial touch clients.  I could come and go as I pleased, work if I wanted, not because I had to, as all my financial needs were taken care of.  It looked like an enviable life.  However, for as long as I can remember, the tape in my head would loop round and round asking, "Is it time to leave now?  Can I leave now?  Is it time, is it time, IS IT TIME???".  And one day, it was finally time.

I watched as my ex-husband's hands shook as he was trying to repair a vent.  I just sat and stared.  And then I went up to my office and researched alcoholism and tremors on my computer.  It was as if I needed one last affirmation of how far this disease had progressed and some piece finally clicked and I knew that the time had finally arrived.  I approached my then husband and said, "Either you file the papers, or we hire attorneys.  That is your only option".  We had discussed divorce before, but I had never had such resolve and fearlessness.  This time there was no talking me out of a divorce, no wooing me back, no other option.  I had finally walked through the fear.

Within a week of placing the house on the market it sold and the sell closed within 30 days.  Our realtors called it the "miracle sale" as everything happened so quickly in a market where few houses were selling and if they did sell, only 25% actually closed.   It was a mad dash of working with painters, contractors, electricians while at the same time clearing out  23 years worth of accumulations.  A strong Warrior Woman energy helped me through the process as my ex could not cope with the stress and mentally, emotionally and physically checked out.  This Warrior stayed with me and carried me through until I locked the house for the final time and than as suddenly as she appeared, she disappeared.

I started blogging shortly after this time period, when Minnie and I became partners in the next journey of my life. I can hardly believe that it has only been a year's time as it feels so many life times ago.

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